@ezwass and I went away for a few days to celebrate being married 10 years. It’s never easy getting away and always feels like an impossible thing to do. I left the house with this frantic energy, like a smurf with a to do list and so little time. I was excited it was happening but unable to get my head out of my phone. First it was an instacart order for eggs and seltzer. Then it was figuring out how my kids were getting to and from birthday parties. Then I saw an ad for new linen. Then I saw an add for feather pillows. Then I wanted @ezwass to stop talking so we can get pictures of us “getting away.” Then I needed mascara to look good in our pictures of “getting away.” It was a hard reality to face being that I pride myself on being present and unattached to my phone. I’m usually the one reprimanding @ezwass for not being able to put the phone away. I’m usually doing this with a self righteous attitude. Thank Gd @ezwass was there to gently help me off the high horse I was sitting on and happily remind me that we all struggle with being present. @ezwass thank you for keeping me humble, always.
We spent a lot of time reading and drinking coffee by the beach and it was as wonderful as it sounds. At one point a pack of teenage girls sat on the lounge chairs next to us. Then I started to be invaded by their conversations.
“I cant my believe you’ve been to Dubai, I want to go to Dubai. Thats crazy. “
“If I don’t like jump into the water right now I’m literally going to have a heart attack.”
Ok, I’m waiting.
“You’re blocking the sun, only one leg is getting tanned.”
There’s less skin cancer for the other leg.
“I put the tanning oil all over my face, I like don’t even care if I break out.”
So why are you talking about it?
I turned to @ezwass and pleaded with him, “if we don’t find somewhere else to sit, my ears are going to start bleeding.”
We found a new place to sit. This time it was next to a woman who spent her poolside time on the phone declaring how she’s “taking calls all day.”
@ezwass thank you for knowing the dislike I had to that repeated statement and understanding my level of intolerance. I truly felt understood.
We had many conversations together. @ezwass asked me, “what are the core values you want our kids to grow up with and have in their own lives?”
“I just don’t want them to be assholes,” was my response.
“I think you should keep in mind, these are things we want to be able to discuss with our kids. Can I sum that up to be kind, be curious, be present ?”
“As long as they’re not assholes.” I responded again.
@ezwass thank you for your insights on all things life related, all of the time.
It’s been 10 years since we got married and we went away for a few days to celebrate that. We took the time to remember that our relationship is going to be the one to hold us always. It’s so easy to primarily focus on the relationships we have with our children because they require our immediate attention.
The reality is, our kids are only ours for a short period of time. We have about 18 years to teach them right from wrong and how to not be assholes, then they’re on their own. But our spouse, they’re the one who’s going to be there when we marvel at the speed that life has passed us by, and say “are we still talking about this?” They’re the one who’s going to be there to say, “I still see you.”
I pray that I’m lucky enough for that moment with @ezwass.
It’s been 10 years and I love you.