This Was The Year of 2020

This was the year I started exercising every day.

This was the year I needed to get the hell out of my house every day.

This was the year I biked along the beach every morning.

This was the year a british lady called me a fat idiot ( if you want to know more about that experience, I have a detailed account of it on my blog. The title of the post is “You Fat Idiot.” )

This was the year I cried my eyes out from feelings of exhaustion.

This was the year I thought I would break over and over again and here I am seemingly not in pieces.

This was the year I stepped away from socializing and now I can’t see myself stepping back in.

This was the year I started to heal from past wounds of failure ( have we ever discussed my first marriage and divorce? No? Okay. )

This was the year I baked chocolate chip cookies with tahini and halva.

This was the year I ate tahini and halva by the spoonfuls.

This was the year I spent most of my mornings watching the sun come up.

This was the year I addressed my fear of not being enough over and over again.

This was the year I watched my parents feel isolated and heartbroken.

This was the year I felt far away from people I used to feel close to.

This was the year we drove our minivan to Canada to spend the summer by the lake.

This was the year I promised never to drive our minivan up to Canada.

This was the year that felt like time was standing still.

This was the year I realized how quickly life passes us by.

This was the year I created some beautiful moments in my home.

This was the year I renovated two bathrooms and I feel proud of myself.

This was the year an old man coughed in my face because I was biking on the walking path.

This was the year I learned assholes still exist in a pandemic.

This was the year I watched skin care tutorials for too many hours.

This was the year I bought too many skin care products and I’m thinking of making a garage sale. Who’s coming?

This was the year @ezwass worked from home and first we loved it, then I hated it and now I miss him.

This was the year I started telling my kids, “because I said so.” It’s so unwoke and I love it with all my heart.

This was the year we made Pesach on our own, without family.

This was the year I saw that we can do it.

This was the year I used my phone too much.

This was the year I started having fake conversations on vintage phones.

This was the year I accepted parts of myself I used to hide.

This was the year that people starting wearing bandanas as masks, G-D BLESS AMERICA AND ALL ITS IDIOTS.

This was the year I named caterpillars Lysol and Rona.

This was the year I lost my mind.

This was the year I feared death.

This was the year I read a book called falling apart.

This was the year I fell apart.

This was the year I put myself back together.

This was the year of 2020.

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