CW Design; The Mommy Edition

“Nurture Them”

“Give Them Space”

“Give them the Best Opportunities”

“Don’t Give Them Everything, They’ll be Better People in the End”

“All They Need is Love”

“They Need Strong Boundaries”

“Be involved”

‘Don’t be too Involved, You’ll Make them Anxious”

“You Need to Work so You can Have Your own Life”

“It’s so Sad to see Kids at the Park with their Nannies and not their Moms”

“I only give my child breast milk”

“I only bottle feed my babies”

“Get the Epidural, Don’t be a Martyr”

“Natural Birth is the best for You, Your Baby and your Recovery”

“Don’t Sleep with the Baby in your Bed”

“Take your Baby into bed while your nurse, that’s the only way you’ll get some sleep”

I pay way too much attention to all the noise around me. All that loud, contradicting noise. It’s like I’m a bird who was born while its mother was out hunting food & any time I hear an opinion my initial reaction is “mama?” as if that’s what I’ve been looking for.
I end up taking in so many opinions, those opinions cause me inner turmoil for 3 days. It makes me question what I’m already doing and think it’s not good enough. Then I feel overwhelmed by the thought of needing to change what I’ve been doing, do something new, and worry about all that time I spent doing the “wrong” thing.

When I’m working I feel guilty I’m not spending enough time with my kids. When I’m not working I feel guilty for not contributing. as if contributing to my kids isn’t enough.
When I’m spending all my time with my kids, I feel exhausted and worn out. When I take time to do things for myself, I feel guilty that I’m selfish. I find this way of thinking exhausting.

My goal is gain strength from within ME, within my quiet self who is far from perfect. Who doesn’t buy organic fruits and vegetables, who has a daughter who doesn’t eat her vegetables, who has a two year old who leave the house in a diaper and nothing else (but isn’t he cold?) maybe, but I’m too lazy to get him dressed three times a day. I need to gain strength from someone who brushes her kids teeth twice a day but also lets them eat an abundance of sugar, from someone who is mostly screen free around her kids but has the patience level of a 72 year old man, from someone who needs visual confirmation every time she drops her kids off at school or camp. Yes this person, which is me, is who I need to gain strength from because this person is the only person who can change me and help me grow.

I just got a mosquito bite, now I have to ask my doctor for the zika test, just in case.

 

 

 

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